I will be the first to admit it: the craze surrounding the Twilight Saga mystifies me. I can appreciate that the books get kids to read. Really. But the premise of the books themselves drives me absolutely nuts. For that reason, it will be a warm, sunny day in Forks before I post a review of any of Meyers’ books on here.
So instead, I find subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways of poking fun at them. I suppose it’s a little childish and not very professional of me, but there’s no shortage of tongue-in-cheek titles out there that pander to my petty grudge.
Today I stumbled across a title by Ryan Mecum and thought, why not?
Vampire Haiku by Ryan Mecum
How (August 14, 2009)
Courtesy of Amazon.com:
You hold in your hands a recently discovered poetry journal – the poetry journal of a vampire. William Butten was en route to a new land on the Mayflower when he was turned into a vampire by a fellow passenger, a beautiful woman named Katherine. These pages contain his heartbreaking story – the story of a vampire who has lived through (and perhaps caused) some of America’s defining events. As he travels the country and as centuries pass, he searches for his lost love and records his adventures and misadventures using the form of poetry known as haiku.
As Butten documents bloody wars, a certain tea party in Boston, living the high life during the Great Depression, two Woodstock festivals, the corruption of Emily Dickinson, and hanging out with Davy Crockett, he keeps to the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure of haiku. The resulting poems are hilarious, repulsive, oddly romantic, and bizarre.
Read along, and you just may find a new appreciation for – and insight into – various events in American history. And blood.
Strengths: I don’t know who wrote the product review on the Amazon page. But they were DEAD on (no pun intended): “hilarious, repulsive, oddly romantic, and bizarre.” It’s a lightning fast read, beautifully published (full color throughout), and fabulously addictive. It’s Interview with the Vampire in Haiku. The wit in Mecum’s poetry is delightful, and yes, he even gets a little dig in at Twilight: “Those were not vampires./If sunlight makes you sparkle,/ You’re a unicorn.” But honestly, I was already in love with it before I got to that point. It sent me scrambling to the internet to find Mecum’s other works.
Potential Flaws: For heaven’s sake. I’m not picking this one apart. I loved it.
Witty, wild, and wonderful. One of the most enjoyable books I’ve read in a long time, purely for the fun of it.